A jumble of thoughts

There are some many things that I have smelt, felt, heard, and seen out here that there is no way to put into words or capture on film that would serve them proper justice. The rising sun is a red I have never seen before, the way it lights up the sky is golden, and the crisp morning air is filled with a lingering smokey smell. The darkness that sweeps the day when its over, and the endless amount of stars twinkling in the sky. The feeling of seeing candles burning at the neighboring houses so they can see and I have a flashlight and sometimes more. The sound of the water pump across the street means someone is gathering a bucket full to carry back home or taking a "bath". The lizards chirping to let you know they are near. The sound of a celebration of an arranged marriage, or the chats at a funeral. The shock of realizing that the wandering animals know what home is theirs at the end of the day. The dogs, cows, pigs and even chicken know where their home is and everyone knows which animals belong to which family. The craving for rice when a whole day goes by and we didn't eat any.  The squeal of hungry pigs, wandering cows, roosters who think that crowing at dawn is a 24 hour job. A hammock is a chair, a boat, a swing, a bed, for just one or for as many as you can pile in, its for the the young, old, healthy, and sick. A hammock is for reading, sleeping, talking, swinging, exploring, studying, relaxing, a place to find comfort for the sick. I had no idea how many roles a hammock played. I find it humorous that in the states we try to darken our skin, but here they keep their skin covered so they can be lighter. I have jumped off my headboard onto my blue sheets and pretended it was a pool and swam (with a 5 year old of course). I have learned to ride a moto side saddle. If I did not know how to something in skirt before I know how to do it now. I have thought I wanted more skirts because three did not seem like a big enough variety. I have been tried and challenged. I have had my buttons pushed. I've felt stressed. I have felt free. I have learned about marriage and parenthood. I have many things to be thankful for. I will miss many things about being out here when I leave but there are also things I wont mind not having either. I chose the giant geckos over the snakes. I am used to smelling like bug spray on most days. Some days the cold showers feel good. I mastered eating every meal with a spoon and a fork. I have drank more tea while out here than in my entire life! I am happy for fans that move the hot and sticky air around so I do not have to just sit in it. I have seen old people who like like they are full of wisdom. I have listened intently to people talk and not have a clue as to what they are saying, Even they know I do not understand they will talk to me anyway. A smile and coloring is something you can do in every language. I have gone days on end with nothing on my feet. I look forward to being able to wear shorts in a place other than my room. I have slept "upside down" and "sideways" in my bed because I do not like the gecko chomping on bugs right behind my head.I have seen more trash than imaginable on the ground everywhere I look. There is no trash day, there are few i any trash cans. I have seen and heard about the low value of human life. Let alone the value of any living thing. I have only been exposed to a small layer of the way of the life of people out here. The things they do, believe, think, their lack of knowledge about "simple things" like sanitation, the human body, and a set time. Their schedules revolve around nature, harvests, and spirits. A lot of things out here have to do with the spirits. What some people make in two or three hours in the states is an entire months salary out here. They are slowly losing their native language. Each and everyone of their faces has so much to say. Their eyes and smiles shine, there is so much behind each face. I look at the people and wonder where they are going to go with their future. Many will stay here and repeat the cycle of life that generations have done before them. I have heard stories of corruption everywhere, how this is a hand open place, and everything is about what you have to show...